


Found Another Feeling

by kanethecryptid



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Character, Domestic, First Kiss, Fluff, Hypersensitivity, M/M, Non-Verbal, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 06:18:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15067001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanethecryptid/pseuds/kanethecryptid
Summary: Connor discovers not only one, but two things about himself after becoming a deviant.





	Found Another Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: as an autistic person, I have projected many of my own struggles into this work and seeing how every autistic person is different, I do not speak for anyone else's experience. Enjoy!

Connor didn’t understand. He had no clue what was happening to him. He admittedly didn’t understand much as of late; not since he broke through that magnetic wall and defied his orders, becoming a full fledged deviant. By becoming self aware, he thought he would be less confused, but it seemed to be the opposite. Like any other deviant, he gained every single emotion humans felt, but he had trouble with processing a number of them. When Connor was a machine, he could analyse item after item, or do research about anything and gain infinite amount of knowledge. Now it was different.

 

Even analyzing traces of blood with his oral cavity sensors gave him an intense feeling at a crime scene a few days prior. At the time, he was analyzing a pool of blood that had been on the ground next to the victim. When putting the substance into his mouth, Connor was overwhelmed by the taste and texture of the liquid. The thirium was dewy against his lips and tongue; the taste reminded him of a sharp metal feeling, similar to broken android parts. Something about the trace of blue blood appalled him. He never wanted to feel anything like it ever again. The only thing Connor remembered after the flood of emotion was him backing away slowly, eyes wide and LED flashing red as Hank ran over to him with concern. Hank’s terrified expression as he put his hands on Connor’s shoulders was a blur to him. He couldn’t feel, let alone think. He could only see splotches of grey and blue as Hank tried to communicate to him, but his voice was drowned out by the ringing in his ears. Connor proceeded to back away, wordlessly. He wanted to assure Hank that he was alright, when in reality he wasn’t, but the words weren’t forming on his lips. The two had gone back to the Lieutenant’s house right after; Hank having to drag him from the scene and into the car as tears formed in Connor’s eyes.

 

It was a few days later that Connor was filing a report at his desk. The case involved a hate crime against an android that was attacked by a group of humans. It disgusted Connor beyond belief; his people were free and yet humans were still treating them as they did before. Part of him understood that violence against androids wouldn’t end so easily, seeing as they had only gained rights mere months ago, but destroying an android so soon after they had earned freedom? Connor felt an unsubsiding pain in his heart.

 

Across from him sat Lieutenant Anderson. As per usual, the man was typing away at his computer, tapping his foot rhythmically. If it were anyone else, Connor would have felt a ping of irritation at the repetitive noise, but he had become accustomed to most of the things Hank did and said. The two had been living together for a few months and Connor had picked up on many of his habits. Instead of asking about his tendencies, Connor would just study Hank. “Studying” usually involved intensely staring at Hank whatever chance he got. Whenever the man would catch him, he would give Connor a confused expression, paired with a soft red shade emerging onto his cheeks. Connor didn’t quite understand why Hank would respond as such. Even before his deviancy, Hank would react in the same manner, but it was only until now that Connor questioned it. He didn’t necessarily believe he was doing much wrong; Lieutenant Anderson was a difficult man to read. It was only natural for Connor to understand his partner to the best of his abilities, even if Hank pointed it out to be ‘fuckin’ creepy.’

 

As Connor was finishing the last sentence of his report, he felt Hank’s eyes on him. He looked up, meeting the lieutenant’s gaze, confused. Connor turned his head slightly when Hank emitted no response.

 

“Is there something you needed, Lieutenant?” Connor inquired blankly as Hank furrowed his eyebrows. He seemed off; Connor didn’t know why.

 

“Actually, yeah. What’s going on with you lately? I mean, you seem… different is all.” The usual bitterness Hank had in his tone subsided. The glare in his eyes had disappeared as well. Was he concerned? Connor couldn’t tell.

 

“What do you mean, Lieutenant?”

 

“The other day during that investigation you just _shut down_ right in front of me. And it’s not just that either. Everytime that asshole Gavin starts yelling at his desk you just freeze. Hell, I accidentally brushed my arm against you earlier and you just looked at me like you were a fuckin’ machine again.”  So he had noticed. Connor didn’t know how to respond.

 

“I just... can’t handle the excessive noise or touching. It physically hurts and it only has since I began to feel emotions. I don’t really understand it. Whatever this is has made me feel not like myself, even though it should be the opposite.” Connor moved his gaze away from Hank and down to the desk as his lips turned downward.

 

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright kid. Maybe you’ve developed a sensitivity to certain things. It’s not unheard of in humans, you know.” Connor pondered his explanation. He guessed it could make sense that with gaining emotions, he could also develop something similar to a disorder found in humans.

 

Connor’s LED flashed yellow as he researched a possible reason for his symptoms. Expressing confusion, he looked back up to Hank.

 

“Judging by my research, I’m most likely on what humans would call the Autistic Spectrum, also known as Autistic Spectrum Disorder. It is a developmental disorder that is usually-”

 

“I know what it is, Connor.” The brunette just blinked, mouthing an ‘oh’ response. “But I’m here for you if you need, even though I don’t fully understand what’s happening to you.”

 

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” A slight smile formed across Connor’s lips as he signed off the report of their latest investigation.

 

“You don’t need to be so formal all the time. Call me Hank.” The older man cocked a slight grin, winking at him with one of his icy eyes. Connor didn’t know why, but he felt a hotness across his cheeks that emitted a blue flush at Hank’s comment. He was thankful not many people were in the office with them, and that those who were didn’t pay attention to them. He would’ve felt even more embarrassed had that been the case. For the rest of the day, the two men didn’t speak, only stealing glances across the desk when the other wasn’t looking.

 

After the two detectives finished up their paperwork, they headed home. Connor had been pretty much silent during the entire car ride, turning his attention towards the window and examining the buildings they drove past. Connor felt a bit awkward, and he knew the lieutenant did too. Was Hank trying to flirt with him earlier? Connor didn’t know for sure.

 

Connor could admit that he did feel something for the older man. He felt a variety of unexplained emotions when Hank would stop to make sure he was ok or even smile at him on the rare occasion. Connor didn’t know whether what he felt was love or not; he doubted what Hank felt was similar.

 

The two men arrived at Hank’s house, and were greeted by a happy Sumo. Connor pet the big dog as he jumped up and licked the android’s face. The lieutenant just rolled his eyes at them, smirk forming on his lips.

 

Hank removed his jacket, tossing it onto the coat rack before he sat himself on the couch. Connor followed him like usual, sitting on the cushion next to the older man. He didn’t really feel like starting a conversation as he usually would when they flipped through the TV channels. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to talk to Hank or was angry at him: it was more so that he couldn’t. Silence was comforting in a way and Connor understood that having non-verbal periods were just a part of his being autistic.

 

Realizing that Connor hadn’t spoken in the thirty minutes they’d been on the couch, Hank looked over. Azure eyes met chocolate and it gave Hank a serene feeling. He knew Connor was enjoying his company, rather than dismissing it as his lips turned into a small smile and he moved himself closer to the man. Hank felt anxious as the smaller man pressed himself against his side, and he cursed himself for acting like a schoolgirl who was about to have her first kiss. There had been romantic tension between them for awhile, but Hank never thought it would go anywhere. If anything, he felt as if Connor deserved better than an old, grumpy man such as himself.

 

The lieutenant felt a pair of soft lips press against his cheek almost instantaneously. Hank just stuttered incoherently as Connor pulled away, cobalt tint smearing his pale cheeks. The brunette just smiled at him and leaned his head on Hank’s shoulder. It was then that the lieutenant sighed, knowing he was way too flustered to even say anything. That, and it seemed Connor wouldn’t give him a formal answer to what his actions were mere seconds ago.

 

Hank moved his arm across Connor’s shoulder and turned his attention back to the television. By midnight, the younger man had already fallen asleep against him, so Hank decided it would be best to just let him sleep in his bed. Sitting up, the lieutenant lifted the android from his back and legs. Hank was surprised at how light he was; the assholes at CyberLife really did think about everything. He supposed it would be easier to make their models agile, even with all the biocomponents inside of them. He approached his bedroom, kicking the door open. It was a mess as usual, but it looked like Connor tried to straighten it up by the neatly folded clothes on his dresser. Hank placed the smaller man onto his bed, covering him with the bed spread. Connor looked so peaceful while he slept; the corners of his soft lips lifted slightly and the parting of his hair fell messily over one of his closed eyes. Hank knew the androids at CyberLife were supposed to be the epitome of beauty, but something about Connor felt different. He was more than beautiful to him, but in a way that was almost humanlike.

 

Hank moved to the other side of his mattress, sitting down and removing his pants and shoes. Too lazy to fold the trousers, he tossed them to the side and slipped under the sheets next to Connor. Turning his body away from the younger man, Hank sighed and closed his eyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hank felt a wetness slide across his face. Slowly, he opened his eyes and unsurprisingly, Sumo was sitting at the side of his bed. Behind him was Connor, attempting to repress a laugh. With a groan, Hank sat up and glared into the android’s chestnut eyes.

 

“Good morning, Lieutenant.” Connor formed a shit-eating grin and Hank just sighed. “If you wanted to know, the temperature is 79 degrees, and there’s a 60% chance of showers in the late evening. I also made you breakfast by the way.”

 

Hank rose to his feet and rolled his eyes. Connor might’ve played the innocent android, but he teased the older man beyond belief. It was actually amusing sometimes; Hank decided he could use more humor in his life.

 

Looking down at Connor, he noticed that the man’s suit was disheveled. Ever since he’d been staying with Hank, Connor hadn’t had any other clothes to wear.

 

“Are you gonna need more clothes?” The brunette looked down at himself, face flushing a slight blue.

 

“I think that would be beneficial, yes. I really hadn’t needed any until now, seeing as I don’t emit bodily fluids.”

 

“I’ll take you to get some. It’s kinda creepy seeing you wear the same thing every day anyway.”

 

Connor bit his lip and glanced to the side nervously. “The thing is: I don’t really have any money of my own. CyberLife took away my substantial funds when they-”

 

“Hey, don’t worry. I'll just pay for them. You’re already living with me so it’s not a big deal. Just, uh, wear my clothes for now.” Connor blushed with a nod, turning his attention to Hank’s closet. He pulled out one of Hank’s smaller button up shirts and pants that lay in the back of the closet.

 

“Do you mind turning around for a second?” Connor rubbed the back of his head, catching Hank staring at him.

 

“Uh, yeah sure thing.” The lieutenant awkwardly turned, facing the wall.

 

A minute or so later, Connor was fully dressed. Hank looked back at him. The shirt was a bit baggy and the pants were too long. He bit his lip; Connor looked adorable.

 

“Something wrong, lieutenant?” The android chuckled, taking a step closer to Hank.

 

“You just, uh, look cute is all.” The older man muttered. Connor was right in front of him, eyes boring into his with a sense of longing. He gulped as the brunette leaned forward, locking his lips with Hank’s.

 

Connor was the first to pull away, cheeks flushed. “I-I’m sorry, I-“

 

Hank moved his hands to the android’s hips, shutting him up by kissing him back passionately. He felt Connor’s arms wrap around his neck and they both savored the moment. Hank didn’t know how long they were kissing, but eventually their lips detached from each other.

 

“I really like you, Hank.” Connor admitted quietly. The brunette’s eyes met his. “I don’t know if you want this to be something more than what that was. If not, I understand why but I’d be willing if you wanted to take this further.”

 

“I do. If it’s alright with you of course. I care about you a lot, Connor.” The android had never heard anything more genuine from the lieutenant in the months he had known him.

 

“Are you sure you’re ok with… me?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Hank raised his brows, confused.

 

“I’m not the most intimate person when it comes to touching and things like that. I don’t know if that would bother you or not.” Connor gave him a saddened expression.

 

“Have you seen how fucked up my life is? Nothing’s gonna change just because you’re autistic. You’re a fuckin’ saint compared to me, kid.” The younger man’s lips formed a slight smile.

 

“I love you.” Connor said plainly as he embraced the taller man.

 

“Love you too, kid.” Hank moved his arms to wrap around the android’s lithe figure and kissed the top of his head.

 

The two men stayed there for what had seemed like hours, though it had only been a few minutes.

 

“We should eat breakfast. It’s probably cold by now though.” Connor stated, looking up at the lieutenant.

 

“As much as I like your cooking, this is far much better.” They both smiled.


End file.
